10/3 & 11/3. To remember what I have written.

10th march... one day is gone again. Lots of stuff can be done in a day. There is no such thing as wasting time or making use of time.. it's just time management. You can't waste time all the time and you can't make use of time forever... there will always be a mixture. Just like whether are you a leader or a follower. Leaders like Obama can't lead forever.. he have to be a follower sometimes... Newbies can't follow forever.. they have to lead one day too.

Gurwin left SG this morning. Have a nice trip...buddy.... talking about friendship...how many close friends do you have? In other words, how many of your friends do you actually hang out with? I find that many of us have lots of friends... we have all kinds of friends... but how many of them do you actually cherish and value? I am not talking about those friends that you say hi and bye with. It's not those friends that you make use of him...he makes use of you. It's not those friends that will go out with you... laugh out loud with you... have fun with you. These aren't true friend at all.

A true friend is someone who cares about you... share his secrets with you...trust you... believe in you..motivate you... be with you when you are having difficulty.... and chat with you when you are bored. But then is this true? This sound more like a boyfriend to me. So what's a true friend? Beats me.
When you add a friend of yours in facebook and saw that he have 600+ friends... are you jealous?
It's just the mask that you are seeing. Deep down... he himself know the truth about how many true friends he have.
I don't have many true friend... my mum tell me that a true friend is someone who will treat you things to eat and sometimes.. you treat him back... so thats why I have been finding a way to treat sean chan something.

Lets forget about friendship and talk about family. Some family are very lucky... some are very unlucky. If there is a choice... who doesn't wanna be born in a rich family? But because there is no choice... we can't choose which family we want to be born in. That's why some of us are poor. I would say I was born in a lucky family. I was born with a silver spoon.... I was born with happiness.... love... I remembered my dad kept striking 4D and TOTO when I was born. I brought luck to him. But then when I grow up... I find that hey... it's not true... actually... I am born in an unlucky family. I have grown up so fast just to watch my family tearing apart. I grown up to see my loved ones leaving me one by one. I have grown up just to find out that the word happiness is no longer inside my dictionary. Everyday I have been depressed in the inside but force myself to smile at the outside so that no one will know how painful my heart hurts. I believe many of my friends faced this problem too... you know you are upset... but you just don't wanna show it.
I am a guy who love to hide problems in my heart and refuse to let it out. It's not that I refuse to tell anyone.... it's just that even if I tell all of my friends.... what can they do to help? Apparently nothing. So it's useless to tell to. This is life.... this is my life..... I have to accept it no matter I like it or not.

The price of houses in SG rise recently and so do my house. My house right now can sell for S$750,000. It's almost a million dollars. I remember on 3/3/2005... we bought this house at only S$300,000. The price is more than doubled now. But then after selling it... we don't earn a profit at all... we are facing loss. My mum lost her husband. I lost my father. problems keep coming.
I am feeling like I am lost.... lost in an island... and there are only 2 roads to go home... but I only can choose one. The good news is both road will take me home but the bad news is I have to choose one out of the 2.. no 3rd choice. I asked myself which road I wanna choose and my answer is I don't wanna choose a road at all.... I don't wanna follow either one of them... but I can't survive on myself... I find myself fortunate because I am above 18. The law states that child who are above 18 have the right to choose who to follow. But fuck you, I follow my dad I lose my mum. I follow my mum I lose my dad. I understand why my mum hates him... I know why is my mum walking this road... I agree with her..she is walking the right road. I saw what my dad did... I know he have changed.. but then... my blood inside me contain his blood too...

I can't run away from the truth... I have ran for years... I kept running and running.. just to find out that the truth is still standing at the exit door waiting for me. Truth is laughing at me...because it's useless to run.. no matter how I run.. I still have to go to the exit door to get out. I once used alcohol to help me to run. I would drink daily so that I can ignore the truth... take it as a dream... but when I wake up... the nightmare is back... this ain't a dream. This is reality. FML.
I once wanted to smoke to forget about the truth... but seeing my grandpa dying because of smoking... it scares me...
There are so many choices in life.... so many to make... how sure are you that your decision is the best one? I chose to hide my problems from kyo... I am lucky to have her... she will always share with me her problems.. and I will always solve them for her... even if I have to sacrifice things to help her.
She is busy studying now and I don't wanna disturb her. It's been long since we chat too. Our chatting time is getting lesser and lesser. I don't wanna online msn nowadays... because I am afraid... I am afraid of hurting her... because I am having thoughts of breaking up with her. She's so beautiful... so smart... I am no longer good enough for her.  So many guys have tried wooing her before... but silly girl.. why the hell did you choose me....a useless boy to be your bf? I have nothing now. I don't have the confidence to assure her family that I can give her happiness anymore. So I believe my best choice now is to let her go... sorry lovely... I love you.
I no longer have the mood to be in love. Sorry for being selfish... sorry for being stupid... but you gotta trust me.. I am doing this for you. I would rather you feel pain for a short term and be happy for a long term than to feel pain for a long term and happy for short term.I am sorry for breaking my promise not to hurt you again.

It took me 2 days to write this post. Ytd I was writing halfway and tears started rolling down my cheek for no reason and I have to stop writing. They say life is full of ups and downs... I don't agree anymore. I think life is always full of downs. Because downs last so long but ups last so short. Sometimes I seriously wonder... what is the purpose of me living as a human on earth... why am I here? To achieve something? or just to wait for death when I am old? sigh... life is so boring... when we are born, we don't know anything.. then we slowly learn.. go to school...play a fool... then we grow up to work... people call you do things like as if you are a slave.. they fuck you here and there... things that you believe it's correct they tell you it's wrong... they just want to torture you. So what can you do? only got 2 choices again... 1st is to quit lor... 2nd is to bear with it lor... the first choice teachers keep telling us if you quit.. it just means that you are weak.. you are quitting because that person want you to quit. And because of your high salary.. you bear with it lor... but bearing with it is easier said than done. People like your boss continue to find things to fuck your life up and down...
Then finally one day you suddenly get promoted to be manager. You thought that hey... not bad huh... I think I made a right choice by bearing with it... now I get promoted. Maybe this is what they mean by 'life is full of up and down'. I think my 'up' is here now. Then 2 weeks later.. you will regret what you said.. you will realise that actually.... your 'down' is the one who is coming. Your salary only rise by $500 but your work increased by 3 times. Not only your boss want to give you trouble but your juniors are also giving you trouble.

Well.. it's not purposely that boss wanna give you trouble.. it's just that the top boss pressure your boss to increase sales... then your boss have to pressure you lor. Sales target cannot reach.. no commission lor..but.. next month increase your sales target again. This is the life of people out there. Sometimes you wonder.. hey.. how come my boss treat Jessica so good? How come Jessica's sales target is only $10,000 but mine is $40,000? You go ask your boss... boss tell you because he thinks you are more hardworking.. he thinks that you can do better than jessica. It's just all shitty excuses.. maybe jessica is boss's mistress? maybe they even had sex before? Who knows? You will never know. All you need to know is you must do your job like a slave. Not happy? Leave lor. Then one day you seriously cannot bear with it anymore... tak boleh tahan..
You are angry that boss is being so unfair.. but sorry lor... life is never fair. So you used a computer and printed your resignation letter. You barged in your boss office without knocking the door.. you bang the table and say... boss.. I will no longer work for you.. I don't wanna see your chee bye face anymore. Then at this moment you will add in a bit of vulgarity because so many years you have worked here.. you got promoted only after working 3 years here but Jessica got promoted to a position higher than yours in just 6 months. So you start to scold KNNBCCB blah blah blah.. after that you went home... you decided to find a new job.. but can't find for months. For some reason.. don't know why.... none of the interviews were successful. So how? If you are single, you lucky lor... but if you are married... god bless you... months of electricity...water... phone bills waiting for you... plus credit cards too... ho-say TG liao... you can't pay.. you quickly seek a job... but all the job wa sian... the salary only $2000 per month... your job to be done got so many... not worth to do. So you rejected it.

Then one day your lucky star is here. You found a good job... you start to earn big money... you think this should be where you belong. But then you look at yourself... you are already 40 years old... if you single..you are too old to find a gf... plus when you get married.. you are already 50 years old.. If you are married... then good lor... seeing your own child grow up... then years later... you are too old to work.. time to retire... sigh.... this is life... no one can get out of this cycle of life. No matter who you are... you can be rich..you can be poor... but as long as you are a human... you still can't get out of this life cycle.
They say rich people are very big deal. I agree... they can buy 5 LV bags... 10 iPhone... 7 Ferrari cars... 1 bungalow. Poor people like us cannot. We admire... we envy... how come they can have such a good life? How come we are all humans but we are different? Sigh.. no need to admire one.. just work hard and do what you think it's right.
No matter how rich they are.. they still have to die one day.. no one can escape from this fact.

They also say rich people no big deal. I agree also... not because I am crazy... everything also agree... but there was this story of a rich man and a poor man in China. The poor man admire the rich man every time he walk pass his house. The rich man despised the poor man for being poor. So one day..natural disaster happened.. Flood came and everyone panicked. The poor man quickly grabbed his cheap biscuits and went to the rooftop. The rich man was stupid. He didn't grab food. He took his gold... jewellery... and climbed to the rooftop too. The water level almost reached the rooftop but it stopped. 3 days later.. the water level is still the same.. no one can do anything to help. The poor man got hungry and took out his biscuit to eat. The rich man was also hungry but have no food to eat. So he asked the poor man to sell him some biscuits.He offered the poor man gold but the poor man refused. The next day, the rich man begged the poor man to sell him some biscuits.. he is willing to give him all his money...property... cars..etc.. the poor man laughed and said....look like rich people are no big deal... the next day.. the rich man died of hunger.

The rich won't be rich forever and the poor won't be poor forever.
sigh... my hands are tired... can't type anymore...
I am not emo... not sad... not mad... I am just depressed. I need time to get things back to their original position. tc.

RCYY

9/3

There are 3 news I wanna share today... one of the news I expected it.. and another one being the shocking news.. another one being the most shocking news.
But before that, let me brag about what I have been doing today. LOL
Woke up at 11am to go to school for the BIG interview. Reached there at 12.15 and that's my interview time. But the interview got delayed and I have to wait till 12.30 before it start. Hmm.. it's kinda buang for my interview but it's ok... if I have been selected to join them then good lor.. if not selected then nevermind lor... that's the common thinking we tend to have..haha... anyway not job interview... haha...

After that I went to T1 to buy my fav which I miss it so much... so long didn't get to drink it... surprisingly this is the first time that korean shop didn't check my IC to proof that I am above 18.
Hmm.. my 2nd bottle of my fav:

After that I went to cold storage to buy Carlsberg. IC kena checked here.

While walking to tampines bus interchange, I was drinking my fav just like that. Everyone was like looking at my green glass bottle which I don't know why... After that I took bus 72 to Hougang mall. Hmm.. the first thing I did was to go Cheers buy 4D and TOTO. Haha.. the 2 king of gambling game in SG. Why I call them king leh? Because they are legal mah... lol... IC kena checked here. The cashier said I looked too young.. she can't believe I am 19 this year.. haha... sigh.. I wonder is it good or bad to look young... maybe both.

After that I went to eat... Felt thirsty and took out my fav to drink. My shot glass is inside my bag so I used it. Hmm.. I wonder what happened.. drinking my fav suddenly make me wanna vomit... maybe I swallowed the rice and wine together. Went to return the vcds borrowed and rented a new vcd called gamer. I wanted to watch it years ago when it came out in cinema but it is M18. So a few years ago I can't watch. But finally today can watch..lol... IC didn't get checked..

Soz... the 1st news I wanna talk about today is
LINK:
SG Casino
Sigh.. blame the government for wanting to open this casino lor.. serve you right... now problems keep coming... people scam... these are the consequences of opening the casino.

The 2nd news I wanna share today was pretty shocking to me. Jack Neo... our famous director in Singapore... he is 50 years old.. and recently.. he had sex with a girl who he invited to film - Money no enough 2. I was seriously shocked... Jack Neo is this kind of people? I mean ok... humans do make mistakes. The actress Jack Neo had sex with is called Wendy Chong. The news call her a model. LMAO... this kind of girl can be a model? If she can be a model I am sure any mother in this world also can be a model. Anyway.. she had a relationship with Jack for 2 years already... what a bitch.
 LINK:
Jack Neo sex.
wendy chong
Wendy's speech

Sorry for swearing... But the 3rd news made me swear even more.
LINK:
Teen raped
Click on the blue link on top and read the story. A teen who was raped by 15 men. It's so shocking that I don't know what to say. These 15 men don't deserve to be born as man. They don't deserve to have lan jiao and lan pa. May god punish them for their sin... may god let these 15 men be women in their next life. May god curse them to be robbed...raped...kidnapped and killed.

8/3

I was playing an online game just 30 mins ago. I entered a room called 'HC chill room'. Basically HC is a membership of the game. I am a HC. But the clothes I am wearing is not HC clothes. So I entered this room and asked the owner politely whether is this room only for HC? KNN she kick and ban me from her room just because I am not wearing my HC clothes. Na bei.. don't let me see her again online.. I see her one time I scold her one time.. HG sia..

Hmm.. pardon me for that. Last night I woke up because I smell some strange urine smell. So I touched my pants thinking did I urine when I was sleeping? It was dry and I am sure it's not me. In my room there is only me, my brother and my mum. So I wanted to find where is the source of this smell. Then suddenly I remembered...haha.. silly me.. My brother is wearing diapers.. I forgot.. that's why got urine smell.. So I slept back.

Woke up today at 10am. It was pretty early.. and I wonder why did I wake up so early today. Usually I will wake up at around afternoon... I looked beside me.. there was no one.. my mum went to work and my brother went downstairs to play with my grandma. So I turn on my hp waiting for hup to message me. At around 12pm I received a SMS. So I open it and thought that it's him.. but it's not.. it's an unknown number. So the person told me that she is from business interest group. There is an interview tomorrow and I have to go. So I told her ok.. I will come tmr. But the matter is she started asking me things about my cca.. both my sec school cca and TP cca. So I was thinking wth.. are you interviewing me now? After asking these questions we stopped chatting.

I waited till 3pm plus and I wondered how come hup haven't come... he is suppose to give me a rented vcd that is supposed to be returned tmr. So I messaged him and he said he will reach my house at around 6 plus. So at around 5pm he messaged me saying he is coming. So ok.. I am waiting.. sian.. I wait and wait.. he didn't come. So I tell him I am going to bath first.. when you reached then sms me.. but he tell me don't bath.. he reaching..lol... After that he reach my house at 6pm plus. I was surprised when he came up to my house.. I thought he forgot which level I lived. We are supposed to meet at the concourse of my house. But he came up. Which I don't know why also..haha.. but hup..thanks anyway...

Today lets talk about erm.... talk about... talk about Singapore.. yes.. our country. Lets talk about Singaporeans too. When people are in trouble.. lets say a country faced natural disaster like earthquake. Is Singaporeans willing to help..such as donating money? lets not talk about other country first. lets talk about our local problems. When society like charity company needs help.. how much are we willing to help?
You see.. what I am trying to say is that... it's not that Singaporeans are not willing to help.. it's just that we experienced too many scamming charity companies that scam people money that we hold back when it comes to donating money.

Who would have thought that that guy in NKF is a scammer? A famous company like NKF scam... who would dare to donate anymore? No matter how many celebrities you invite to come.. the fear is still there... we will still hesitate to donate. When you see an uncle.. without legs.. or without hands.. outside lets say ang mo kio... begging for money.. will you donate? Seeing them like that... they do deserve our pity. But then.. sorry if this sounds offensive.. what happen if they are just trying to scam too? I remember there was once my mother told me she donated money to a guy who only have 1 leg. She then went shopping in that area and went to a toilet. When she got out of the toilet, she saw the same man getting out of the male toilet with 2 legs. So she regretted donating.. it's scamming.

Anyway.. talking about international.. that's why Singapore is always donating items like food...clothes... rather than money... I agree with my mum that once money is donated.. we don't know where will it go. Singapore government donate food/medical supplies to country that are in trouble.. I think that's right..
So many scammers nowadays... be smart.. don't get cheated..
Hmm.. time to watch my movie. Take care!