Today is one of my greatest depression day. I have never felt so depressed before and I don't know what to do. I feel very tired....I don't feel like carrying on anymore...but I have to accept this is life and I am the one who chose to come to polytechnic. I feel that polytechnic can be super stressful especially when you have lots of projects/presentations to work on.
The main cause of my depression today is time. Why is time so important? Why won't time wait for you? Why do you have to catch up with time? Why do time exist? Sometimes I just don't understand. However, I believe in my law which states that life must go on no matter you are happy or sad. So lets choose happy.
This afternoon 1pm I had my micro lecture. After lec ended I followed Helmi and the rest to cyber centre. They were taking some photos there for their presentation I believe. So my depression started when I realise that today is 19 of Jan. February is coming real fast and I hate it.... Because Feb is where all my nightmares will come to me. First of all, h-k is leaving soon... she have to go back because her school start in Feb. Sigh...feel kinda sad. Then I saw the danceWorks! 2010 poster at SAA level 2. I feel even more depressed as joining this competition was one of my wish. But I can't seem to find any friends to join me... and the closing date for registration is 25 Jan. I will never make it in time... sigh... so I decided to give up joining it.
So I went to my marketing tutorial and I was feeling scared... because I realise that presentation for POM is just this friday and there is very little time to rehearse and we need to create our own skit. I know my POM tutor is very stingy regarding time and therefore, time must be very accurate. My heart trembled with fear because of the word 'time'. After mkt tutorial, my POM group mates meet up for only around 15 mins. Yvonne told us the skit she have in mind but I was afraid that it's not interesting..... Time isn't enough and we can't make any big changes. So we have limited choices. I don't know why am I being so negative today... Everything seems not usable and it won't work to me. Then I realise that next week is micro presentation. I felt even more depressed... time is so tight.....damn it...
In addition, 22 to 25 Feb I will be having final exam. 8 Feb I will be having my BTT. At the same month, I will be having my korean test also. So today I feel extremely stress... I have never felt so stress like this before.
So I tried to calm myself down and take one step at a time. In chinese, there is a sentence called ' 走一步，看一步。‘ So I decided to adopt this strategy to relief my stress. I had dinner with qu xin at bizpark and I felt better after relaxing and telling him how I feel. I created a new richard's law today. It states that as long as you are a human, you will make careless mistake. The main thing that we should focus on is not the mistake but to remember not to repeat this mistake in the future. That's how we humans learn... from our mistake which form part of our experience.
I hope Feb holiday faster come as my nightmare will all be gone and I will be able to work during the holidays. I feel damn bored at home during holidays. So gotta make full use of my time.. time is money.
Hmm.. time to study my BTT and do micro homework.... May my stress all be gone.
Sentence of the day: Cherish what you have and accept what you don't have.
'Whose line is it anyway'? The link on the left is one of my favorite show that I used to watch in midnight. Haha... they are very funny at times.
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