18/3

Hmm.. I didn't blog yesterday as I wasn't feeling well. Kinda tired too. Yesterday me and my bff went to Junction 8 to meet our sec sch teacher(Mr.Tan) . Before that I drank....but I am not drunk..haha... so my face was red(as usual) when I saw my teacher. We went to Haagen Dazs after that to eat and chat. After eating we sat there as if it's our house and refuse to leave.LOL... so the waitress kept refilling the drinks for us while we continue chatting about our life. Those red patch on my face spread to my hands and I was pretty surprised because I have never seen anything like this before. A short while later we left to shop. Played some games too. Soon, those red patch start to disappear.
We went to eat dinner and took bus 55 to go Hougang plaza to play some computer games. That's when I start to feel unwell...haha... went home to rest.

Long ago several strangers added me as friend on msn. From young, our parents taught us not to talk to strangers. But I am a bad boy... I don't wanna listen to them.. because I feel that if you wanna make new friends, you got to talk to strangers first. So I accepted their friend request but soon, I regretted. They started to call me to go to a website to chat with them. I refused and deleted them as friend. Today I woke up and I signed in my msn to check out who's online. Immediately someone talked to me. It was one of the strangers that I added long ago. I think I forgot to delete this one. The first sentence that she said to me was 'Hey, watch me naked at www.xyz.com'. I didn't reply her...just blocked and deleted her.LOL... What a mad girl...

I went to Jurong point today... it was a long trip. I took bus 25 to Ang mo kio and take mrt to Jurong East and transfer to the green line to boon lay. I went there with my family. After shopping for several hours, I sense something weird.

No matter which shopping mall you go to, you will see people. To make things simple, I am referring to teenagers and parents. I was finding for teenagers within my age.... I was looking at who are the people that teenagers of my age go out with. I see friends..... girlfriend..... friends.....girlfriend.... friends....girlfriend.... Then I start to look at myself.... I am with my mother..... I looked at everywhere in that shopping mall... No teenager of my age with parents shopping together... So what does this mean? Well.. look like there is a shift... a shift in teenager's behavior. They are barely going out with their parents. Perhaps once in a blue moon. So I start to wonder why?

I am a teenager too. I believe the main reason is because of freedom. Freedom is just a word... but it can change a person completely. Teenagers want freedom.. they want freedom to do things that they wanna do. They want no one to stop them...because they believe that they are no longer kids anymore. They wanna show their true self. A teenager will show his true self when he is hanging out with his friends.
I was wondering... does the problem lies on we teenagers or does it lies on the adults? The adults are worried that we will learn bad things from our friends. That's why some of us have curfew that state that you have to reach home before 11pm. We know it's for our own good. But sometimes.. we find them irritating. To our parent, we are just kids no matter how big we are. I find that teenagers are not communicating with parents nowadays... Perhaps because there is nothing much to talk about... our parents don't understand what we want... they don't understand what are we thinking... we don't understand why must they interfere with things that they shouldn't interfere. But looking at a different angle, how many of us understand our parent? Instead of ignoring them, how many of us have ever tried to talk to them?

One thing I find it true is that teenagers still don't understand how hard it is to earn money. Teenagers like me have pocket money. We tend to buy things that we want but don't need it. I worked part-time before. My pay was $7.50 per hour. After working for a month, I found out that my pay was a thousand dollar. I was pretty happy... it's the first time I earn money.. I find that hey... why did my mum lie to me that money is hard to earn? Look mum... I can earn a thousand dollar in just 1 month..... but soon I realise that I am wrong... I agree with the old saying that it takes a month to save but take 1 day to spend. With the money I earned, I started buying things that I don't need... to satisfy my wants. When I look back, I can't believe that I have spent so much... when our parents say that money is hard to earn... you can't just count the money that you earn. You must include those expenses that you are going to spend too.

Wants are different from our needs. We need water and food. We need house to stay. Our wants tend to be those luxury stuff like car... jewellery. We tend to be satisfied when we satisfy our want.

Hmm.. recently I have been staying at home if possible. I tend to reject if my mum ask me to go out with her.. lol... sorry mum... but I got an important stuff to do. Everyday I have been waiting.. I have been staring at my computer screen... waiting for my gf to come online in msn. Sigh... our relationship is a little hard to maintain.... that's because we are living in different country. When I am busy studying... she is on holiday... she will stay at home... turn on her computer and wait for me to online as well. Sometimes when I am on holiday, she will be the one busy studying... So the time we have chatting together is getting lesser because it's already 11pm when we start chatting.. she got school tomorrow so she got to go at 12am.Sometimes when she is too tired... she won't come online at all. In a relationship, we tend to know when to hang on and when to give up. But now.. I don't know should I give up or hang on. It's normal for couples to quarrel and break up... but then after cooling down, both parties will patch up again. We have been fighting for this love... we met lots of obstacles but manage to overcome it. We trust each other that we won't cheat on each other. But sometimes... I just think that I am not good enough to be her bf. It's kinda painful especially when I need my gf's shoulder and she isn't here beside me. I feel like.... there is a string between us... this string is getting longer and longer... and it's gonna break into 2 one day... I don't want it to break. But I don't know how to make it shorter. I don't know why but I feel insecure.......unstable. Fate brought us together.. fate already gave me a chance. Fate let me met her and even let her be mine... that's more than what I can wish for. But.... I gotta rely on myself this time... I gotta change my life too... I wanna fight.... be it for my happiness...future....or for lovely.