23/3*

Hmm.... there are many things I wanna say today but I don't know where to start....

Hmm....*30 minutes later* yesterday I went to my grandma house. I decided to take a bus home and went to the bus-stop to wait for the bus. A boy who look like my age was smoking at the bus-stop. I have nothing against smokers as one of my best friend do smoke. I understand that different people have different lifestyle, that's why we can't criticize people. But please.... can the smokers out there please do not smoke in the restricted area such as the bus-stop? People in the bus-stop are taking in the 2nd hand cigarette and that includes my 4 years old brother. Please be more responsible.... care about others too.
The government is increasing the price of cigarette. Look like they want to cut down the number of people who smoke.

Tomorrow my classmates are meeting at marina barrage for picnic but I am not going...LOL.... I have something to attend to. So sorry... have fun, people.

Yesterday night me and my mother were chatting.... she told me all her sad stories.... she told me things about my father that I don't know. Hmm... my father have 2 mothers and 2 fathers? It's kinda complicated over here.... I was told that I was supposed to have another elder sister... but my mum aborted it. So I was pretty shocked because I didn't know about that.... mum told me the reason why she aborted it and we went on chatting. Sigh.... she should be 22 years old by now if she is in this world.....that's 3 years older than me..
Oh well.. what's done cannot be undone.
People say that there is no point crying over spilled milk. It's wrong. They are not crying because the milk is spilled. They are crying because they know that they are the one who spilled the milk. Not anyone else.

After so many months, I finally have the courage to tell my mum that I have changed my name to Richard. I was kinda afraid that she will be angry because I changed it without letting her knowing it. But to my surprise.... she wasn't angry....she wasn't unhappy..... I told her the reason why I wanna change my name and she was explaining to me that changing my name can't change anything. I understand.... but the matter is for the past 18 years I have been living without a purpose in life. I don't know why am I here..... I don't know what are my goals? To work or to earn money? To care or to love? I have been trying to find what's that thing out there that is keeping us fighting. I wanna know what am I fighting for. Am I fighting for myself? Am I fighting for my happiness? Or am I fighting for my family? I wanna change my life.... to do that, I have to start a new leaf. Ever since the day I change my name I tell myself that I am gonna live for a different reason this time. I started changing everything of mine.. I change my personality....I change the way I look at things. I change everything and tell myself that the childish and playful days are over. I am matured now. It's time I make full use of my time. I believe that things are gonna change according to what I expected...... because my name is Richard. I will not live like before. People are fighting out there because they wanna be successful. If they can be successful, I can't think of a reason why can't I. If they are fighting for survival then I will fight for my own survival too.
I wanna show my mum that my new name isn't just a name. It's a new life.
Thank you,mum.

Hmm... went out with Hup today to watch a movie. It isn't really that nice but we enjoyed it. On our way back, we witnessed a car accident. Sian.... I forgot to look at the car plate number... go buy 4D. LOL.... Nah... I am not that kind of person. I was seeing how serious is it.. anyone dead or injured? Accidents are very scary. It happened to me once before.

Oh great.. it's 9.45PM now... I started blogging since 8.00PM.... kinda fall asleep just now while blogging...haha....

New Richard's law: No one can go back and change the past but everyone can start now and change your life.