31/3

31st March..... last day of March... A memorable day again....
For some reason, I have 3 wallet now and I don't know what to do with them. Hmm... can I sell them? LOL...

Tomorrow is April fool day. What kind of prank will you get?

Hmm.... yesterday night I couldn't sleep at all. My mind was in a chaos. I have been thinking whether that silly decision made by me was right or wrong.
Yesterday about 6pm, Lovely came online. I was damn happy and so I double clicked her to chat with her. We were chatting happily but suddenly... something came into my mind. I wanna tell her the truth...because I think she deserve to know the truth. But after knowing the truth, I am gonna be cruel by asking her to leave me.
So I called her and she picked up the phone on msn. I started telling her the truth about what I have been thinking after she left SG and about my parents too.

Well.. I am sorry.... I think she deserve someone better than me.If her father is aware of the truth about my parents, I am sure he will not accept me as Koreans are very particular about family background. I told Lovely not to tell her father because I don't want them to quarrel.
The problem between us isn't something serious. But both me and Lovely have no more energy left to fight this long battle. Maybe our love isn't those kind of couple love. Maybe it's those kind of brother-sister love instead.

I feel guilty when I ask her to leave me. But my instinct tell me that both of us will feel better if we break up. So she asked me if I am serious and I was like ya.... So I guess we are close friend right now. She taught me lots of stuff and I appreciate it... it's just that maybe..... we are not meant to be together as a couple. We are meant to be together as a best friend.

I believe she is able to find a caring boyfriend who can love her more than I love her. Sorry,Lovely... I broke your heart again. But this is gonna be the last time. We won't feel so tired anymore.
So yesterday night when I was sleeping... my conscience came to haunt me. My conscience tell me that I shouldn't have done that... I should have hang on. But my instinct tell me that I should end this pain before we waste more time.

sigh.... love is sweet but painful. Since I chose to let her go..... I am not gonna regret it anymore... I respect that silly decision made by me. May god give her all the happiness that she should have. May my instinct prove me that my decision is right. Take care, my new sister. :)