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02 March 2010

2/3

Hmm... I wonder where to go.... where to go.... where to go... it's been long since LSRGK last go out to play together... but then.... where to go.... sigh.... somewhere to ride bicycle...and have fun...lol...
we wanted to go pulau ubin... but how come they close so early? sian....
Having headache recently... hmm... I can no longer drink beer... and I wonder why... last time I used to drink so much and nothing happen... but then I found out that recently just by drinking one can causes my head to be so painful... it's like it's going to explode...lol
It's not that I have been drinking again.... but....

My family have worsen.... I forgot who told me but there was this friend of mine who told me that seeing his own family tearing apart is the worst torture of all... it's the most painful... more painful than you found out anything else. But then... when I look back.... I don't feel pain at all.... I look at everyone else in my family.... no one seems to care.... no one seems to cry...

Everyday when I return to my house.... I see nothing.... nothing at all... no feelings....no emotions.... no happiness... no future. sigh... I was thinking.... will divorce really bring my family happiness? Can I see my mum smile like before? Physically... the answer is yes... but mentally... it's no.
Why do things change? why do humans change? why do feelings change? I hate this feeling... this feeling that you are having trouble but no one is beside you...supporting you....

I wish I can tell this person the truth... the truth about my family... but... she can't help... no one can help me... that's why I didn't tell her anything.. I wonder is this right or wrong... not telling her the truth...because truth hurts.

Hmm.. don't wish to talk about these sad stuff anymore..

Today I was thinking where and how I want to celebrate my birthday when I turn 21. But then when I am 21, I will be entering NS already... time flies.. haha...

Anyway... take care to all my friends!

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